DISCUSSION POST ACTIVITY:
Hypothetical Dating Scenario Activity
You have been dating X for a month now. You met through a mutual friend. Although you don’t find X extremely attractive, you cannot help but have a good time with him/her/them. You share a lot of the same interests and find yourself frequently sharing a good laugh. And although you don’t always agree on what constitutes a ‘‘good’ movie, you usually have a lively discussion of why you enjoy certain movies. One night, you are at a party with friends (and not X), and you are introduced to Y. You are immediately physically attracted to Y. However, you seem to have a difficult time holding a conversation with Y. You aren’t sure if that’s because you are nervous or because Y just isn’t very interesting or personable. Throughout the rest of the night, you continue to exchange flirtatious gazes with Y and get excited every time you catch Y’s eye. At the end of the night, Y asks you out. Do you accept and go out with Y or stay with X? A few weeks later, you are shopping at your favorite store. The line to make your purchase is quite long, so you strike up a conversation with Z who is in line behind you. Z is not your ‘‘typical’ type but is attractive, nonetheless. From your conversation, it seems Z is well off financially. As you near the checkout counter, Z offers to pay for your purchase and invites you out on a seemingly luxurious and exciting date. Do you accept Z’s offer or stay with your previous date?
So, which one are you choosing? X, Y, or Z? In this scenario, we are going to assume everyone is monogamous.
Why did you ultimately choose X, Y, or Z?
a) What were the greatest benefits you imagine you would receive from your date selection?
b) What do you believe would be the greatest cost/risk of being in a relationship with your date selection?
How, if at all, do you think your gender affected the decision that you made?
How, if at all, would your decision have been affected if you had been dating X for a longer period of time?
How, if at all, do you think your choices would vary if you were currently at a different point and time in your life?
Beyond your choices in this activity, how often do you believe you weigh the pros and cons of a relationship?
What may make you more or less aware of this process of weighing the pros and cons of a relationship?
I just want to remind everyone here that SET is not focused solely on romantic relationships, Homans, Blau, and Emerson argue we use it in every relationship and interaction. It is easy to see how we do perhaps weigh the cost/benefits of romantic relationships, but do you all think that we do this for other relationships just as much?
I also want yall to think about power for your response. How important is power in relationships and interactions? And while thinking about power, how does inequality come into play in this theory? Does race, gender, ability, and sexuality change interactions and if so, does the theory still work? And for fun, what of altruism? Do we think humans can act altruistically? Why or why not?
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