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i have my professor comments on an essay that I wrote, and I need u to work on h

i have my professor comments on an essay that I wrote, and I need u to work on his comments my proffessor notes (This is a solid paper overall. It describes the relationship between social media & political echo chambers using scholarly studies. Quotes are on-topic and well-chosen, and sources are explained with some thoroughness. The reasoning is convincing and the prose is clear throughout. This represents an effective start on the project.

Things to work on:

– Why is polarization a problem? The evidence in the paper suggests that social media does contribute to echo chambers / separation and potentially polarization. However, the paper needs evidence to support the assertion that this separation / polarization in online political discourse is harmful.

– In general, the paper would benefit from a stronger, clearer organization: it’s not clear why the paragraphs appear in the order that they do, and there are some other structural issues, such as the lack of a clear thesis statement and some repetition of content (see below). One thing that will help with organization is to avoid starting paragraphs with a sentence that refers to a source. Instead, start each body paragraph with a clear transition / topic sentence that makes an assertion entirely in your own voice and then develops that assertion using the source or sources. This helps you clarify the main point of each paragraph and the role it plays in the larger paper.

– The paper needs a stronger, united focused thesis statement summing up the nature of the problem and its negative effects. The last two sentences of the very first para. come close; however, thesis statements generally do not use sources.

– In the definition paragraph (3rd para in the paper), Use a source or sources to help define your two key concepts (echo chambers & polarization).

– In paragraph 4, provide further analysis of the source to more effectively link the quote to the surrounding prose: explain more – why do Jiang et al believe that echo chambers have amplified conflict over covid 19?

– You use the exact same quote from Kitchens et al. in two different places in the paper. The explanation following the quote is also the same.

– It seems you are using APA citation style; if so, use it consistently: label the works cited References and use past tense signal verbs when introducing sources.

– Need to analyze the images as evidence in the body paragraphs; don’t just describe them in the captions.)

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